I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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