Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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