Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
