we made out on top of his cat.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
