Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
