New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
