Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
smell my finger.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
