just come out here and I will go home with you...
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
