Having a random hookup so left but love u
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
