I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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