pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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