She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
is that a dick in a sweater?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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