So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
