can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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