do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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