some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
