What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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