So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
