she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
