Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
