OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
