i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
