Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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