i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Randomize
