I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
organizing the empties. That sober.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You may now shotgun with the bride
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
