There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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