Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
