Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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