Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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