she woke up with a sticky ear
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
