no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
