I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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