If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
