how can u be prego again
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
