And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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