You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
