Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
