If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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