Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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