one might say we're banned from that church
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
