I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
