What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
