new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
