yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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