I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
