She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
