you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
