may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
