Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
