it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
