dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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