I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
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